Another year

Another year passed by. Its October again. I remember having a post on October last year too. Obviously, I’m still trying my best to take things easy but I believe i’m doing well.

Its currently 12:45am, I just couldn’t close my eyes yet, so why not take this time to update my WordPress. I finally had my second piercing after so long and yes, im loving it! This month as usual, it is definitely not easy for me. Its a month where I get sensitive, insecure and paranoid easily a lot. Its also not easy for my mum, hopefully she is dealing with her emotions well.

Where have you been? I miss you so much, daddy. 

I always wondered about after death. Im someone who is curious about everything, and its really every single damn thing. All in all, I am just hoping the best for everything. Oh, im grateful that my uncle ended his chemotherapy session. He is looking pretty good now, but some side effects are slowly appearing and hopefully everything is good.

To my dearest bae

My dearest bae, I know you’re going through a lot right now. All the changes and all, but I just want to let you know. I’m here for you, no matter what alright. I might not be able to reach your side by 10 mins like how your other friends can, but I will be 8 numbers away only anytime. Cheer up and you will be good in no time. šŸ™‚ 

A year and so. 

At times I still wonder if he thinks of me and im still curious about his life. I wonder how he is doing? Is he doing well in his studies and life? Is his family doing well? I see his brother sometime and I really wanted to walk up to him and start a casual conversation and link it to his brother. However, these are just friendly gestures. I no longer take his things seriously in my mind and heart anymore. Its just concern given by normal friend. I don’t miss him as a boyfriend anymore, I don’t have that thought of getting back together and I definitely have already moved on. Like i said, im curious! Curious about everything.

Hey C, I hope you are doing fine and doing great for your studies! All the best alright! šŸ™‚ Take it easy and just put in all your best but dont overwork and overstress yourself. See you studying all day on your snapchat, do take care of your health too! 

Moving on. 

I have mentioned about someone else appearing in my life right now. And yes, I shall now introduce that new someone as ‘Jw‘. Even before me introducing him to anyone, he already have a lot of nicknames by different group of friends. I guess its because I kept his identity from everyone. Im not the kind of person to trust anyone easily due to all kind of situation that I’ve been through. So initially, im very doubtful of him but his actions towards me proven otherwise. At the very least, he tries his best to not do things that will upset me. I have no idea what are his thoughts about me and I really don’t know what he is thinking sometimes. He cared a lot for me, he take notes of what I like, what do I prefer. He sacrifices his own sleep time, his own free time and all just to wait for me to end work and make sure im home safely.

I was so shocked that there was once he texted my bestfriend just because he saw that I replied this particular person. He told my bestfriend saying that ‘if she thinks he is better, then I will give up.‘ At that point of time, i cried. I have no idea he was so not confident about himself and he obviously still doesn’t know how much he meant to me. I must really thanks bae for this. If it wasnt her, I have no idea what is going to be the outcome of that small misunderstanding between me and him. 

Well, I know the things he does right now is what every guy would do to the girl they like. I just felt that he really did changed himself a lot. Especially from the start when I barely know him until now. I see the difference in him, even like our colleagues and his brother and friends said so. (Im proud of myself. JUST KIDDING!) I hope he will continue to go on the right path.

I still remembered my first impression of him. Fierce but so friendly towards aunty goh (a colleagues at our workplace). He walked up to me and asked ‘Whats your name? [in that ah beng tone]’ I took a step back and hesitant whether to tell you my name. Hahaha. Apparently, he’s the first person to know where i stayed and whats my number because i just casually asked what bus does he takes home and ended up we taking this bus every single time now. That bus is not the fastest and shortest bus route he could get home, actually that bus takes the longest time to reaches his house as it goes one big round but he took it just because he could send me home first. Thanks for wanting to save my name as panda initially yah. And since that day on, we texted every day. I really dread to reply you every single time you told you go drinking especially when we just knew each other. Cos all your texts would be related to that particular questions im avoiding so much at that time. 

Thanks for bringing me to HHN6, knowing that im afraid of such things but its your birthday so I decided to accompany you. Luckily I didn’t break your hands or anything. Hope you had a great time on your birthday and I really don’t like clown. 

Thanks for all the times. I enjoyed it a lot. More to come?

Okay, its now 1:36am, time to sleep. Goodnight world.

xoxo, 

Cal

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