I am so tired of everything that happened to me in this recent years. Friendship, Relationship, Studies, Work and Family… When can i take a break from everything and then leave all the sorrows behind. I want to be the happy me and not the sad me anymore. I don’t want to affect anyone in my life because of my emotions.
I admit that i am not ready to move on from anything. I am obviously not ready for a proper relationship. Being in a relationship, is simply too confusing and unsure for me. I have a loving boyfriend and we are in a rather stable state of our relationship. He accept me for who i am. I am pretty afraid to lose anyone right at this moment and nevertheless, he is someone i am afraid to lose. We have been together for 2 years plus, almost 3 years. I don’t know how to describe my feelings. I liked it when we are just best friends before we are together which is about 4 years back. I know him for 6 years now and we talked almost everyday since secondary 2. 5 years down the road, we are pretty close and we chat almost everything, but now.. our conversation getting drier and drier. It is seriously not easy for me to let it go.
I was hoping to take a break from everything and just let nature take it course. We tried to take lots of break once, but never once it succeed. I am confused now, what can i do? 😦
After a 2-3 weeks break, I kind of like back how we were as friends. I felt much more relax in the relationship… But of coz, I miss those time where we are a couple. For now, I hope we stay as what we are. I hope nothing change… 🙂